A selection of sex ( 12)

My grandmother came to her grandson:.
- And what did you tell me, Grandma, brought?.
- Why, grandson, strawberries brought to you... As many as 6 discs!.

One day the farmer went to town to stock up on supplies and livestock for home. Going to the hardware store, he bought a bucket and an anvil, and later looked at the market and bought two chickens and a goose. And then he thought: ...
- And you, my dear, do this: put the anvil in the bucket and carry it in one hand, the goose - in another, and chickens - Underarm.
Well, the man did so. On the way, the farmer met a young busty beauty. A girl approaches him and says:.
- You know, I got lost. You do not tell me how to get to the village of navel?.
- You are lucky I am just going to the village. Follow me, let's go through the woods, so shorter.
- Uh - uh, no, how clever! .
- What do you mean, dear, crazy or something?. I carry a bucket with an anvil, two chickens and a goose. How do you prizhmem somewhere, if I have all hands are busy??.
- Easy, fool! .

13- year-old Katya, coming home and seeing my mother in her school uniform.
I realized today that it will spend the night at grandma.


A man stops at a woman's voice. She pushes his head out the window and says:.
- Oral sex does not want to do?.
A man in horror:.
- Who?.

There is a presentation of the room with laughter. We go there pretty lady.
Looks - the mirrors are not present, but the middle of the room stands a table. Then she hears a voice:.
- Come to the table.
she came up.
- Put your hands on the table.
put. Suddenly, in the table open holes out there, metal rods, which capture and ladies wrist snap. In short, it can not escape.
And then back up to her to some type lifts up her skirt and starts fucking.
lady:.
- Man, what are you doing? .
Man:.
- This is used. I quite forgot you to tickle!.

Sex with a beloved woman is like the pleasure of drinking a rare collector's wine, casual sex - it's like to drink home brew. Guys know this, but the drink, bitch, all that is horrible!.

Dean of the College was represented by a single female newly arrived students and decided that it would be appropriate to address the subject of sex and morality.
- In moments of temptation is always just ask yourself one question: ' Is it one o'clock pleasure of a lifetime of shame? .
At the end of the lecture, she asked those present if they have questions.
One of the girls shyly raised her hand and asked: ' Could you tell us how you can stretch it for a whole hour? .

- Girl, how long?.
- Two hours and fifty dollars.

The city opened a new public house. Guy comes back and asks:.
- Do you have a woman? .
- No.
- A man?.
- No.
- Well, some kind of porn?.
- Sorry, but there is also.
- Well, what then do you have?.
The owner of the brothel says with pride:.
- Raccoon!.
A man takes a raccoon and leaves in kabinnku. The next day the guy comes back to the brothel.
- Well, women do you have?.
- No.
- A man?.
- No.
- Well, a porno?.
- But porn is canceled - a two-hour film ...

The policeman rests in a brothel, is alone in a room with a prostitute, he hears a noise and goes to check.
In the sauna maniac broke into shouts and threatening others.
policeman:.
- Oh, would have been a gun, I would have shot him.
- Oh, would stick with him, I would have knocked him.
- Oh, would have been handcuffed, I would have tied.
prostitute:.
- I have a condom and lubricant.

A man went to hell. Devils offered him to choose the punishment.
He walks, he looks: there - pans lick there - turn their heavy stones - somehow unpleasant.
Suddenly sees a bomzhik, and he takes a nice blowjob virgins.
A guy just screams with joy that it suits him. Heck, referring to the girl:.
- So much for change has arrived!.

Awesome beautiful girl walks into the elevator, and behind it, just through a lockable door, a guy squeezes. The doors are closed, Pernod puts her hands on his chest and says:.
- Calm down, this is rape!.
She grabs him by the balls:.
- Yes, you yourself, then do not worry because the boy. - And adds, pulling the collar to her, - And for the market will have to answer!.